I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
