I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
