So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
