i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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