His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize