I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
