problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
