We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You made out with two different species that night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
