dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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