dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
