Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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