Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
