I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
