i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
