Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize