This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
