nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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