I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
