Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i barfeds in our rink
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
