I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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