We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
