Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
ugly people sure do ruin things
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
