The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
