can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
