You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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