Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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