Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
