butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
