It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Your penis caused this!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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