I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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