Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
