I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i will never coherently bang her
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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