is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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