: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
