Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
