Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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