I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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