So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
