My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
