Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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