Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
