i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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