one might say we're banned from that church
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
