Duck Duck Cougar?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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