My friends, they love my intelligence
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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