how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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