I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
