She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
