She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
