I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
