im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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