I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Enjoy the penises
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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