you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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