We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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