All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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