Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Your cock deserves a montage
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
