addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
