dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
