He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
