She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
soo... how was my night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
