Whod you bang
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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